Hells Bells

 ‘I'm a rolling thunder, a pounding rain

I'm comin' on like a hurricane

White lightning, flashing across the sky

You're only young but you're gonna die’

-- AC/DC


I was 11 when Bon Scott died.

I remember bein' in the car and Dad hearing the news on the radio. We were in the carpark at Safeway about to go shoppin. I was excited 'cause that meant we got to go to Maccas after, which I loved, even though it makes me spew. The radio said he died of alcoholic poisoning. Dad's face was all pale and serious -- I think I saw some eye juice comin' out too. I saw it once before on Grand Final day when Carlton came back from 44 points down at halftime to defeat Collingwood and Alex Jesalenko took the mark of the century late in the second quarter beating Collingwood by ten points. Mum reckoned he had a face like a bucket of arse, but that’s 'cause she goes for Carlton. He was totally devvo

But this was a different kind of devvo.

He wasn’t mad, he was quiet. He just sat listening to the radio and running his hands along the dashboard, occasionally knockin' round the fluffy dice like a spaced out cat.

Me and my brother Fish just sat there on the back seat all quiet. Dad must’ve thought we were bein' good cause then we went to Maccas without having to go shopping and we were like mega choice!

But Dad was different -- he didn’t fight with us about if we could get a large chips, he didn’t even come to the counter, he sat on the wooden bench next to the big plastic Ronald McDonald.  They were both staring into the same spot in space but with really different faces.

When we got home Mum sent us outside to play in our shopping trolley. We played 'rally car breakdown', where Fish pretends to race, then breaks down and I have to fix the car really fast.

But then all Dad's mates came over and I knew it must’ve been a special occasion cause Dad had his good going-out thongs on and he wasn’t even going out! They all sat in the backyard havin’ a Barbie and listening to Acca Dacca.

Dad did the best air guitar everyone reckoned, but I was scared he was gonna get alcoholic poison too, so Fish and I kept stealing his beers and spilling them out, till Mum came and caught us. But she musta thought we were drunk 'cause I hurled up all over her feet. Then she started to scream  and yell 'cause Bon Scott died of vomit and she thought I was drinkin' beer and that I was dyin' of vomit.

But it was the Maccas -- it always makes me spew.

Then everyone in the backyard started singing along to Hells Bells -- even Mum after she got the vommie off her shoes. She seemed alright. Then all the neighbors' lights went on and everyone started yelling and Dad stood on top of the old Datsun at the bottom of the garden and yelled 'R.I.P. BON SCOTT, SEE YOU IN HELL' And then everyone started chanting ‘SEE YOU IN HELL, SEE YOU IN HELL' and  me and Fish started jumping and smashing things 'cause we knew it’d be alright, 'cause Dad was pissed.

Then the cops came round and busted everything up. Dad told the lady cop she had a face like a cat licking shit off a thistle and she handcuffed him and clubbed him one over the head. 

He let out one last See you in hell before he passed out.

All dad's mates went home after that -- Damo, Davo, Dicko and Wedge.  When Dad finally came back home he had a great big black eye and a beard that looked like the pine forest floor down the back of town after someone’s hadda fight in it. Mum said he looked like a bucket of arse. But he was able to wink at us with his good eye and I knew everything was gonna be sweet -- that is, till he saw what we did to the Datsun.

And he was all like: 'I was gonna fix that up ya little shark biscuits .' But we knew he wasn’t really angry. He just kinda slumped for a while then took us all to Maccas, even mum, and it was mega bulk ace. 

Even though it makes me spew.